Accidents do happen
by Moonshifter
Summary: FINISHED Makoto and Ami are out on a date and something goes terribly wrong. Songfic
1. last kiss

Disclaimer::: driving down the road, windows rolled down, listening to radio, singing as loud as humanly possible. Gets pulled over by the cops for speeding:: I swear it's not mine officer!

O: What's not yours?

L: Sailor Moon and Last Kiss… They belong to Takeuchi-sama and Pearl Jam.

O: That's not what I pulled you over for.

L: What is it then?

O: Speeding.

L: Oh, my bad.

"Hey Haruka!" I knocked on her front door. "Haruka!" she opened the door and looked at me slightly. 

"What do you want Mako-chan?" 

"Well, you know how you've been teaching me to drive?"

"Um, yeah… Why?"

"Because I want to borrow your car!"

"What for?"

"I have a date with Ami and I wanted to take her somewhere on the other side of town."

"Don't hurt the car." She walked over to the table, grabbed the keys and tossed them to me. 

"Of course not Haruka! Arigatoo Gozaimasu!" I ran toward the garage and hopped into her car.

//Oh where oh where can my baby be  
The Lord took her away from me  
She's gone to heaven so I got to be good  
So I can see my baby when I leave this world//

I pulled up in front of Ami-chan's apartment and honked the horn. She looked out her window and I waved at her happily and she immediately ran from the window and out the door, locking it behind her.

"Hey Ma-chan!" She got in and kissed me. "Where'd you get the car?" 

"I borrowed it from Haruka-papa." I chuckled as I hit the gas.

"I bet that took some prodding."

"Oh, not really. You know she's been teaching me to drive, so I think that she trusted me for that reason."

She grinned and leaned over to kiss me again, pulling my eyes off of the road for a minute. "So where are we going?"

I looked back at the road just in time to see a stalled car almost directly in front of us. I immediately slammed on the brakes, but we were going to fast to stop before hitting the car, so I swerved to the right. The last thing I heard was the squealing tires, breaking glass, the sound of the car hitting a tree, and Ami-chan screaming.

//We were out on a date in my daddy's car  
We hadn't driven very far  
There in the road straight up ahead  
A car was stalled the engine was dead  
I couldn't stop so I swerved to the right  
I'll never forget the sound that night  
The screaming tires the busting glass  
The painful scream that I heard last//

When I woke up, rain had begun to fall, my head was hurting, and we had attracted a crowd. I reached up to touch my forehead and felt a large wound and blood dripping from it. After looking at the blood on my fingers for a minute, I remembered about Ami-chan. ~Where is she? ~

//Oh where oh where can my baby be  
The Lord took her away from me  
She's gone to heaven so I got to be good  
So I can see my baby when I leave this world//

I pulled myself out of the wreckage of the driver's seat and started to look for her. I don't know how I found her or how long it took me, but I did. She was wedged under the dashboard of the passenger's seat and had glass embedded in her arms and some in her face. I pulled her out from under the metal and held her close to me. She looked up at me and weakly said something.

"Ma-chan. I love you . . . Just hold me."

I continued to hold her as tears began to fall from my eyes. As I heard the sirens from an ambulance pull up behind us, I kissed her softly and didn't let go of her as she closed her eyes.  The medics came over and pried her out of my arms, put her on a stretcher and put her into the ambulance before looking at the cut on my head.

//Oh where oh where can my baby be  
The Lord took her away from me  
She's gone to heaven so I got to be good  
So I can see my baby when I leave this world//


	2. Standing Outside the fire

Disclaimer:  ::playing with one of those talking Taco Bell dogs. Squeezes it:: Yo Quiero Sailor Moon.   ::giggles:: I wish I own Sailor Moon, although I don't. It belongs to Takeuchi-sama and Standing Outside the Fire belongs to Garth Brooks. Why can't I come up with really cool anime's and songs like them!? Please explain why this is not possible. ::squeezes Taco Bell dog again::

AN: If you have not already read my other M/A fic called Realizing Love, I suggest you do that before reading this chapter. There are numerous references to it in here and if you have not already read it, you will get thoroughly confused. 

I sat beside her hospital bed and looked at the sores that are beginning to heal on her arms and face. It hasn't been long since I have recovered from my coma and now I have caused more pain for my beloved Ami-chan. Lately it seems that I have been causing so much trouble and pain. I am lucky that Ami is alive again. The doctors say that she was dead for a good five minutes and that it is a miracle that they could bring her back. As it is, she has lacerations on her arms and face from the impact of the glass and her right ankle was crushed by the dashboard. 

Serenity opens the door and looks at Ami, lying in the bed, then at me and walks over and puts a hand on my shoulder. "Jupiter you okay?"

"It's my fault. I should have been paying complete attention to the road and not as much on Ami. Now I'm lucky that she's still alive."

"It was an accident Jupiter. It could have happened to anyone."

"But instead it happened to me . . . To us." I sniffled slightly and looked at the scars on my wrists and fingers. "Is this how she felt when I tried to commit suicide?"

"She was deeply hurt. But it seems that you are taking this a little bit harsher then she did." 

I reached out and held her hand, running my fingers over some of the sores on her arm. "It seems I've gotten out of the frying pan and into the fire. You know . . . that night that I woke up . . . it was so wonderful. We just danced in the ballroom to the sound of our own music and loving having each other. We were in heaven. Now it seems that we will both have emotional and physical scars." I lightly rubbed the wounds on her beautiful face, the face that I have ruined. "And they are all caused by my own negligence."

_//We call them cool  
Those hearts that  
Have no scars to show  
The ones that  
Never do let go  
And risk the tables being turned  
We call them fools  
Who have to dance  
Within the flame  
Who chance the  
Sorrow and the shame  
That always comes  
With getting burned//_

"Makoto. I told you already that the crash was an accident, which could have been a lot worse if you had have actually hit the other car. As for your suicide you were extremely depressed and in your state of mind, you didn't see any other way out."

"But I have hurt Ami so much."

"But it was not intentional."

I sighed and kissed the back of Ami's hand as Serenity turned and silently walked out. I closed my eyes and sobbed slightly, still holding her hand. I decided that it was likely a good idea to follow Serenity's example and leave, before I completely lose it again. I kissed her hand once more, then stood up and started to walk toward the door.

I was just about to open it when I heard a soft, weak voice from behind me. "Ma . . . Mako-chan?" I quickly spun around to see Ami's beautiful blue eyes weakly looking at me. It only took a few seconds for me to be back beside her, holding her hand again.

"Oh Mi-chan. Arigatoo Gozaimasu Kami!" I felt tears begin to well up in the corners of my eyes but I fought to keep them back. "Are you in any pain?" 

"I, I can't move my leg. Mako? What happened?"

"We were in a car wreck and you got stuck under the dashboard. The reason you can't move your leg is that the doctors had to immobilize it because your ankle got shattered. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault." The tears spilled out and I couldn't stop them. "I'm so sorry Ami."

She weakly pulled her hand out of mine and softly wiped away a tear. "Mako-chan, it's okay. I'm still here. We're still together. That's what matters, ne?" 

_//But you've got to be tough  
When consumed by desire  
'Cause it's not enough just  
To stand outside the fire//_

"I guess you're right Ami-chan. But I still hate it that I've hurt you so much."

"Mako-chan. Don't worry about it. Aishiteru."

I nodded slightly. "Aishiteru."

Just about then a doctor walked in, a folder in one hand and something strange looking in the other. 

"It is good to see that you are awake Mizuno-san. Are you in any pain at all?"

"My leg hurts a bit, but that's all."

He nodded. "That is good. Before you leave I will likely give you a prescription for some pain relievers." 

He jotted down something in the folder, then set it down on a table and pulled over a chair and sat in it, holding the weird thing in front of him with both hands. 

"This is a prototype for an ankle replacement. It has not been tested in humans yet. We thought that we would let you try it if you would like. The choice is yours. Without it, you will likely never walk again. With it, there might be a chance that you will have no problems walking after some physical therapy. Either way, we will have to put you into surgery and then in a cast for awhile. If you choose to try the prototype, the surgery will be to remove the shattered bone and put it into place. If you choose not to try it, the surgery will be to attempt to reconstruct the bone for purposes of moving your foot." 

_//We call them strong  
Those who can  
Face this world alone  
Who seem to get  
By on their own  
Those who will never  
Take the fall//_

He then went into talking about how the replacement works, but I tuned him out and looked at Ami-chan who was paying complete attention to him, nodding every now and then. 'It's my fault that she has to do this in the first place. Damn I'm a baka. I wish that she didn't have to go through this.'

"I will leave you now so that you may discuss it and make a decision." He got up, picked up the folder from the table and walked out. 

The door was shut for about two seconds before I heard, "Mako-chan, I want to try this."

"But Ami-chan-"

She cut me off. "Makoto, let me do it. I would much rather take the chance of trying it and it not working then to not have a chance of walking again."

I sighed and nodded. "If you really want to, then I cannot stop you. Would you like me to go tell him?"

"Only if you don't mind Honey."

"Of course not." I stood up and kissed her softly, then turned and walked out to find the doctor.

AN: Thank you to everyone who helped me thru this chapter, if it weren't for the help of some other writers on ff.net, this likely would not be finished now. Expect more chapters in the future.


	3. Bad Day

Disclaimer:  ::sitting, staring at a wall, soft, monotone voice:: I don't own Sailor Moon or Bad Day. Talk to Naoko Takeuchi and Fuel about that. Just, leave me alone.

We are both sitting on our bed and I am watching as Mako-chan braids her hair and then undoes it and redoes it. She has changed so much since the accident that it is beginning to scare me. First thing I noticed was that she adopted a braid as her new hairstyle and wearing make-up regularly, which if you ask me, only hides her true beauty. That didn't set off any bells, but when I caught her playing the piano, that was a different story. She said that Haruka-san had been teaching her, but the song she was playing was soft, slow and melodramatic.  The song was haunting and seemed to ring through the halls of the Crystal Palace.

Every once in awhile, I will wheel myself into our room after my physical therapy, only to find a note on my pillow. "Gomen nasai Ami-chan. I've had a bad day again. I will be back later."  Usually I will later hear the notes of that haunting song ringing through the halls. When I don't hear it, I begin to worry about her.  Sometimes when she brings my Monosodium Bisulfate Bindreen to me, I see her eyeing the bottle slightly as if she's thinking of something that she knows is wrong. 

"Mako-chan," I take her hands in mine to stop her from playing with her hair and make her look at me. "Honey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Everything is fine."

"Mako, please don't tell me that. I know that something is wrong. I see it in your eyes and actions and hear it in your words. You can tell me anything, you know that."

"Ami. You wouldn't understand. And I've already hurt you to much as it is."

_//Had a bad day again  
She said I would not understand  
She left a note and said, "I'm sorry I  
had a bad day again"//_

She always tells me that. I can never get a straight answer out of her anymore. And now it seems that I am not alone in being scared for her. A few of the other senshi have expressed their concerns to me, especially when she's playing that song. And the "bad days" seem to be coming more often then good ones. 

Yesterday was a prime example. She was quite shaky and dropped her cup of hot tea, which broke on the floor and went everywhere. While cleaning it up, she got cut on a piece of the cup. A few minutes later, she was putting on her make up, her lipstick got smeared and the eye shadow was too dark. She hastily wiped it off and went to put on her shoes, but the shoelace broke due to how tight she was trying to tie it. After that happened, she took off her shoe, threw it across the room and stormed out, stating that she's having a bad day and slamming the door behind her.

_//She spilled her coffee, broke her shoelace  
Smeared the lipstick on her face  
Slammed the door and said, "I'm sorry I  
had a bad day again"//_

I would really love to tell her that the physical therapist thinks that I won't have to use the wheelchair for much longer, but at the same time I am afraid of her reaction. I'm not really sure why I am afraid, if anything it should help her. But still. . .  

~*~

I am so glad that Ami has not realized that I still blame myself from what she is going through. It is very hard for me to constantly see her in a wheelchair. That and the scars on my wrist are always reminding me of the greatest mistakes I have ever made. 

I have found the need to constantly be doing something with my hands so that I cannot see the scars as much. To aid in this, I have started braiding my hair, wearing make-up and got Haruka-san to teach me how to play the piano. And playing the piano also gives me an excuse to be away from Ami for awhile so that I don't have to watch her move around in her chair as much. At least Serenity was decent enough to heal her scars. It would be complete torture to look at those things that marred her face so badly.

I've thought about leaving Ami again, hurting myself. I am going to be selfish and end my own suffering. I've been eyeing her "Verex 12", checking to see how strong it is, and carefully counting the number of pills that are left. From what I can tell, the "Verex 12" is the strongest, non-addictive form of pain medication that is available today. And this way, if they keep me alive again, there will be no scars to haunt me. All I need now is the perfect chance to do something.

I have used the "bad days" as an excuse to set up a semi-normal occurrence. This way, if I go missing for a few hours, they will write it off as that and not come looking for awhile. Hopefully this will give me a window of opportunity to take the pills and give them a chance to start to react, possibly even time to take them one by one. I would rather die slowly and suffer then to get the reprieve of a quick, painless death.

Ami, being her normal genius self, has started to pick up on some things and is always asking me what is wrong. I refuse to let her know exactly what is going on so I usually just tell her that she wouldn't understand and try to leave it at that. Most of the time it works, but sometimes she decides to try to get more out of me. That is when I am usually forced out of the room to avoid the questions. I hate having to walk away to avoid it… but I just don't want to tell her

_//_ _And had a bad day again  
She said I would not understand  
Left a note and said, "I'm sorry I  
had a bad day again"//___

I think that Ami is at her physical therapy right now. Minako and Setsuna are likely out somewhere and I know that Haruka and Michiru have gone off to one of Haruka's races. I'm not really sure where Serenity or the two brats are, but I doubt they will try to bother me. This might possibly be my chance.

I walk over to the cabinet,  grab the "Verex 12" and walk out the door toward the piano room. I get there and sit in the seat as normal and opened the bottle, taking out one pill and looking at it for a few seconds, then taking it. I close the bottle and put it on top of the piano and start to play the song that I normally play.

~*~

I cannot wait to tell Makoto. The physical therapist says that I have enough strenght to walk, but only for breif periods of time. I hurriedly wheel myself into our room and look around to see that Mako is nowhere to be seen. Suddenly there is a sharp pain in my ankle, so I wheel over to the cabinet and open it to get my Monosodium Bisulfate Bindreen. But it is not there. About the time I start looking for it, I hear Mako playing her song, but it seems to be quite a lot sadder then it normally is. Slower, deeper tones.

_//And she swears there's nothing wrong  
I hear her playing that same old song  
She puts me off and puts me on//_

This immediately starts to scare me so started heading toward the piano room. 

_//Oh and had a bad day again  
She said I would not understand  
She left a note and said, "I'm sorry I  
had a bad day...again"//_

What I see when I get there brings complete fear and memories of a night long past flooding to my mind. She is slumping over the piano slightly, with the bottle of "Verex 12" on top of it.

"Mako?"

AN: thank you to everyone who has helped me, I can't just single out one person because a lot of people have helped. This is the first fic (or chapter of a fic) that I have written that I actually like, I think that all the others are crap. Monosodium Bisulfate Bindreen/ "Verex 12" is the same thing "Verex 12" is the generic name while Monosodium Bisulfate Bindreen is the technical one. I have to thank Seppen Fuyu for that. There will be at least one more chapter, but with the people who have been helping me, they may give me a suggestion that I like, which requires me to tack on another chapter. Would you really like me to list all of the people that helped me? They're all good writters

Seppen Fuyu

Haruka-chan

Immeblue

Altheia

I think that's all of them… please forgive me if I've forgotten you… I still love you but… I have a terrible memory. ::bows::


	4. I know a wall when I see one

Disclaimer: :: poking at a stick:: I don't own Sailor Moon or I know a Wall when I see one. Those belong to Takeuchi-sama and Toby Keith… so back off and leave me alone.

I hear a few creaks as Ami wheels into the doorway but I don't pay any attention to it. 

"Mako?" She sounds worried and afraid, but I don't want to pay attention to her right now. I stop playing and reach up to grab the bottle again.

~*~

               _// Blue eyes, brown hair, yeah that's my past standing there_

_Turning every head in here tonight_

That smile, that laugh, everyone is staring at 

_The one thing that stands between_

_Me and the rest of my life//_

I can't believe my eyes. Mako is reaching for the bottle and taking out a pill. 'Why is she just looking at it? She's not going to take it is she?' She starts to move the pill closer to her mouth. I feel a surge of anger and fear and jump out of my wheelchair and quickly walk over to her, slaping the pill out of her hand and glareing down at her.

_//I know I wall when I see one_

_And I'm looking and one right now_

_Heartache's written all over this one_

_One I can't get around_

_Where's a door when you need one_

_I know a wall when I see one//_

She didn't raise her head but spoke to me in a forced tone.

"Why did you do that?"

"You were going to hurt yourself. I am not going to allow you to do that."

"Why not?"

"Because I love you more than anything in the world. Why would you want to hurt yourself?"

"Beca-," She finally looked up at me and stopped mid word, gasping slightly.

               _// The hurt had stopped, at least that's what I thought_

_Up until what used to be walked in_

_Just flesh and bone, it might as well be stone_

_Cause it's a memory I can't get past_

That's what I'm up against// 

The look on her face was one of pure shock and a slight hint of horror. It took a few seconds before she stammered, "You…. You…. You're standing!"

"Yes. I am. I was fully ready to tell you too."

She bolted up off of the piano bench and wrapped me into a big hug.

"Makoto." I pulled away from her, looking up into her emerald eyes. "You told me that you would never leave me again."

               _//__After all my heart's been through_

Look what it's run into// 

"Ami I'm so, so sorry." I could see tears begin to fill her eyes. "Ever since the accident, I have had troubles watching you. I couldn't bare the thought that I had hurt you to the point of being in a wheelchair." The tears in her eyes begin to fall and she sunk to her knees, taking my hand and laying her forehead to it. "I'm so sorry. I was being selfish and was going to end my own misery. I never stopped to think how you would feel about it."

I knelt down in front of her and wiped a tear form her eye, then put my hands on her shoulders. "Makoto, there were times when I thought about doing this myself. Everytime I thought about it though, I then remembered you and how much I love you, how I felt when you tried to suicide. It always brought me back to my senses and made me stop."

She wrapped her arms around me tightly and cried on my shoulder. "Makoto, I will always love you, no matter what you do or attempt to do."

"I love you too Ami. For Eternity."


End file.
